I met a young woman about two years before, about the time she had her second child. She had not been married to either of her girls father’s and was not in contact with either one.

This issue was not related, but that she seemed to choose men who were not capable of making a commitment to her and her children. They might have been perfectly wonderful men, but somehow she set herself up to get the exact opposite of what she desired: a long-term loving relationship.

When we settled into the NESTing session she revealed that she had never had a relationship with her own father. He had left her mother when she was less than a year old. She had never met him and her mother refused to tell her any of the details about their relationship.

The results of the reaction was an 8. First we worked on the logical perception of how she thought a relationship should be and got the reaction to a 1. Then we worked on the emotional aspect of how she felt about her father abandoning her and releasing all negative emotions that were tied to it.

The next aspect was to change the response she had always had to the man she was in a relationship with. She adapted to becoming subservient, not worthy and the one who would try to do everything to keep the relationship together.

Results: She has now been without a relationship for nearly a year. That is the longest she has ever gone. One of the key factors in choosing a good relationship is being self-sufficient and not “needing” to be in a relationship.