“No!”
“Be quiet!”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Why can’t you do anything right?”
“Stop it, you’re driving me crazy!”
“Go to your room!”
“Can’t you see I’m busy?”
“Leave me alone!”
“Don’t touch that!”
“Stop wining!”
“Wait until your father gets home!”
“Stop bothering me!”
The average child hears more than 60,000 negative responses before they turn three years old. That is a sad statement, but one that has been known since 1995 from a survey conducted by UCLA.
Of course children need to know not to touch a hot stove, play with unsafe objects, walk rather than run and so on just so they have the opportunity to grow up to be adults, yet the constant negativity creates an undesirable learning habit for children from all over the world.
It is much more difficult to re-train the brain to think using positive creative points of view rather than the cultivated negative, disaster pending learned behavior.
In actuality, most parents now child-proof their homes. They put security closures on cabinets to protect their children from chemical mishaps. They install rounded corner guards on walls to soften the blow in case they fall. They cover electrical outlets, install toilet guards and a large plastic covers over door knobs and handles to insure their children’s safety.
So, what is all the yelling and negativity all about? Most parents would staunchly defend their position to “loose it” occasionally and simply let off steam by yelling, swearing, storming out of a room, or collapsing in tears. There are times when the every day stress of keeping a family in food, clothes, and a home become overwhelming. It’s normal for an adult to required a time out occasionally.The challenge has always been, how do parents change learned behavior they were subjected to when their parents were experiencing the same stress inducers? It’s passed on from one generation to the next, often increasing in the level of negativity and often growing from a verbal response to a physical action.