Fear of Flying

On one flight from El Paso to Alamagordo, New Mexico I was on a eight place twin engine plane sitting next to a pilot who was taking a flight home. We had to fly through a lightning and thunder storm and the turbulence was unnerving to say the least. This kind man held my hand and talked calmly to me until we landed. He suggested that I look into getting my pilot’s license to get over my fear of flying. It sounded like a practical solution, so I signed up for ground school as soon as I got back home. I got my pilot’s license and learned to love to fly; it was empowering and a major confidence booster.

I was also afraid to go anywhere alone. It probably stemmed from the time I got on the wrong school bus, no one noticed and I ended up going to Elk which was about 45 minutes south by bus route, of where I lived. By the time I finally got back to Mendocino, my mother came and pick me up and I was extremely traumatized.

So my husband began to make a habit of inviting me to dinner on Friday nights. I had to take the BART train and find the restaurant, which was always different. It didn’t matter if I showed up on time or fifteen minutes late, he never showed up until ten to fifteen minutes after I arrived and had ordered a glass of wine. I had to talk to the bartender and it forced me out of my comfort zone.

It was hard work. It made me struggle on a regular basis. I knew it was for my own good, but I wanted nothing more than to rely on him to get me where I wanted to go or see to the details I didn’t care to manage.

It is amazing how I now see I drew him to me and he helped me overcome many of my idiosyncrasies. Even though the marriage lasted only five years, it was filled with a lifetime of valuable lessons and more often than not, left me with a sense of gratitude.

 

 

Fear

I made up all kinds of excuses as to why I couldn’t go out with him even though he was extremely charming. Somewhere, somehow, my radar kicked in and I knew I would be in for something that was out of the ordinary. I didn’t like change and I would fight with all my might to avoid having to experience adapting my safe and secure lifestyle.

Well, that lasted about three months and when the last excuse I could come up with, “I couldn’t date anyone who drove a Cadillac” inspired him to ask my boss what my favorite car was, he showed up in a new Jaguar!

Even though it was a tumultuous five years, he brought me out of my shell. He nurtured me into expanding my comfort zones and supported me in a way no one had ever done before. I might not have been prepared for all he had to offer, but I appreciate what he did for me.

When I met him, I wasn’t able to get on an airplane. I was terrified. He encouraged me to go after a job that paid nearly double what I was making when we met, but it required me to fly throughout California, New Mexico, Arizona, Colorado, Wyoming and Nevada.

On one flight from El Paso to Alamagordo, New Mexico I was on a eight place twin engine plane sitting next to a pilot who was taking a flight home. We had to fly through a lightning and thunder storm and the turbulence was unnerving to say the least. This kind man held my hand and talked calmly to me until we landed. He suggested that I look into getting my pilot’s license to get over my fear of flying. It sounded like a practical solution, so I signed up for ground school as soon as I got back home. I got my pilot’s license and learned to love to fly; it was empowering and a major confidence booster.