The concept of overcoming the effects of abuse, especially from your childhood can be a challenge. I had a number of people tell me after I had turned 18, it was up to me to learn to be responsible for my own feelings. Again, it goes back to “it’s nice in theory, but in actuality, it’s not so easily put into practice.
I never found a book or a modality which erased the memory of the abuse or took away the sadness which engulfed me at times when I longed for parents who would demonstrate their love for me. I spent a great deal of time searching for anything that would make sense of my upbringing, but the explanation was as elusive as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. It just wasn’t possible.
Because I wasn’t able to have children, my parents choose to spend their time with my sister and brother who did have children, assuming I could easily join them especially while I was single. But when I was 35 I insisted they come to the Bay Area and spend a weekend with me. In the 17 years since I had left home It was the fourth time they were to do so, while spending at least two weekends a month with either my sister’s or brother’s families.