After he left I asked her why she was so upset. She told me it had been months since they had gone out together. Yet he went out every Friday night with his friends and thought it was his right for going to work all week long. He told her he needed to let off some steam.
I asked her if she resented that he was going out to have fun and she said no. I asked her if I could call and get a baby sitter so we could go out. She said she’d rather stay home and relax and visit with me.
I thought about it for a few minutes and then asked her if she was jealous he went out while she stayed at home with the kids and she said no.
Then it dawned on me, “You just want him to pay attention to you because you are feeling neglected?”
She nodded yes, looked down at her hands on her lap and just shrugged. It took me awhile, but I got her in a better mood and then we talked more about it. She realized she hadn’t been taking care of the relationship with her husband as much as she felt neglected. When he came home that night, she was wearing a sexy little negligee and they rekindled their romance.
It’s so much easier to forgive and move on than it is to hold a grudge and feel miserable. I know it’s hard to achieve, but once you realize you have to forgive and move on, the easier it will be for you to live your life free of the weight of the blame and anger.